Would I do it Again? Mrs. Utah America Pageant 2020

"Prejudicism."

For my high school Homecoming Pageant I was asked on stage what I would change about this world.

That was my answer. Just to be clear prejudisim is not a word. I hoped that the judges would deem me as creative for making up a new word but they didn't. I lost. It's ok, I didn't really actually know what a pageant was. I was a die hard athlete and was very proud of that! My friends were in the pageant so I signed up too!

To answer your question, yes! I would absolutely compete in a pageant again.

I was guilty of giving pageants a bad rap. Now? I think every women out there should compete in at least one in their life. Serious!

As I stood on stage kind of knowing they weren't going to call my name for the top 5 I looked out into the crowd. I had a full support system front and center with sigs and smiles. People who had held my hand through the journey to be strong enough to get on the stage in the first place.

I looked up and soaked in the sky wondering how I'd react. I caught myself off guard because I was worried I'd not be able to face my children who were certain I was going to win. Rather than being sad I felt a huge rush of excitement. I wanted to run off the stage and start jumping up and down with my loved ones and celebrate! I DID IT!! I competed in a pageant!! I didn't fall, I didn't embarrass myself. I totally did it!

The whole experience was great...minus it being delayed for what seemed like a life time. And having to replace my dress 2 days before the pageant because of seamstress errors, dang it!

I got to dress up, perform a dance number which I hadn't done since 10th grade, learn how to walk in super tall heals, face some major fears, share my message of #Fly with almost 40 different sponsors, learn how to pitch my non-profit, and meet many amazing people along the way.

I bonded with women who were like-minded, driven, had a purpose and a vision, and who were amazingly real. Women who were terrified, just like me, to walk on stage and bare it all.

Over time, my goals for the pageant shifted. It went from wanting to win, to wanting to be in the top 5, to just not wanting to back out of the dang thing because of how much uncertainty it was causing in my life. That and also to not make up words on stage. Yikes! It was delayed 4 months! Dang Covid, or government, or China, or people not wearing a mask. I don't even know who to blame!

The timing of it was hard. Originally it was going to happen before summer and I was able to focus so much to being competition ready. And? I was. I felt SO ready on the original date.

But, when it actually happened I was coming off of having all 8 kids for a couple months and trying to navigate through a super stressful life change. Gyms closed, I had gained 10lbs. which honestly was actually pretty good all things considered! But? Not when thousands were going to see you strut your stuff in a hot pink swimming suit. Sheesh!

Whatevs. I did it. I followed through with my goal and did it!

My kids ran up to me after the pageant in tears. They were devastated. They think I am pretty dang awesome and for me to not make it to the top 5 was really hard for them. I had to console 3 crying children right at the base of the stage as the winners were posing for their shots with the crown.

It helped me teach them about hard work. That I was SO proud of myself for how far I'd come in life to be able to compete in the first place.

I got to explain to them that as I was answering my onstage question that I looked out and saw multiple women holding back tears. Women who I didn't know. That meant that I touched lives that day. That's what made me almost lose it on stage!

I told them that all of these people in the audience and at home now knew a little bit more about #Fly and that made me happy.

I was able to hear the audience gasp when I walked out in my sparkly dress! All of it combined made it magical.

The experience was great.

So my question to you is...when are YOU doing a pageant?

Probably the best part about the venue change is that we had to hire 22nd Ave Entertainment Logistics to do our stage lights and live stream. They sent us a copy so I made a clip of my stuff. Enjoy!